sound familiar Ricky?

I discovered my husband was abusing my children and livestreaming it online

‘The day he was arrested I had no inkling, nothing at all’


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“We had a perfectly happy marriage.
“He was really popular and had a really big group of friends. He was very outgoing.

“Even now knowing what I have known I have gone through every single memory that I have had, there is nothing.
“I have wracked my brains for the last two years.”
It was seemingly the perfect family set-up. Two childhood sweethearts who had, married and were raising two young children of their own.
Then one day the police knocked on the door.

At the time the arresting officers only knew about the images of underage children he had been sharing.
It was only a few weeks later as they delved deeper that the full horrific truth was discovered.
“They found he had been assaulting my two – he livestreamed the abuse.”
The devastated mum, whose identify is hidden to protect her children, has decided to speak out now as she continues to battle her former partner’s grip on her family, despite the fact that he is now behind bars.
Despite being jailed for more than 10 years for subjecting his children to sexual abuse as they slept, and being in possession of Category A images – the worst kind – he still has the power of parental rights.
From his prison cell he has fought to stop his children from changing their surnames and his ex from selling their home where the abuse took place, even though she has struggled to make the monthly mortgage payments, aside from all the terrible memories the property holds.
She had thought she would be able to rebuild her children’s shattered lives following his sentence but says his actions are preventing that from happening.

The former wife of a paedophile who abused her children has revealed the grief of discovering what was taking place in their family home (Image:

Her ex-partner is on the sex offenders register for life but he still wields power over their lives.
“He took out a court order to stop me from taking the kids to Majorca on holiday.
“It was just constant, he would not let me sell the house or the children change their surname.
“He’s behind bars but it does not make a blind bit of difference.
“I never thought he would keep his parental rights over the children after what he has done.
“In my eyes he has lost every right to see them.”
Her ex was sentenced to offences including assault of a child under 13, attempting to cause or incite a child under 13 to engage in a sexual activity and engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child under 13.
“He did it when one of my youngsters was two – it was just completely insane.
“He’s a violent sexual offender.”

She said she never had “an inkling” he was capable of such depravity.
“The fact that my children had been subject to this inhumane treatment, it was absolutely devastating.
“I was just in shock really.
“Never in a million years did I think I could do that, he was manipulative – there was no trace.
“We had a perfectly happy marriage, he was not what I thought he was.
“He appeared to be a great husband and a father but that was all an act really.
“There isn’t a point that I thought was suspicious. He was not your stereotypical offender.
“After he was charged I had people contact me saying I do not understand, is this right?
“People cannot marry up what they thought about him with what they were being told.
“He was not what I thought he was.”

‘He’s behind bars but it does not make a blind bit of difference’

She said when she discovered she was pregnant with both her children he just showed a “normal response.”
“My ex was very happy but not in a way you would not expect,” she said.
“With the second child it was nothing that would sound alarm bells, there is nothing nothing at all.
“When my eldest was born he was incredibly supportive, it’s really difficult.
“The day he was arrested I had no inkling, nothing at all.
“I will never understand what happened – it was horrific.”
She said she “thought it was a fresh start when he went into prison” but she has faced one legal battle after another.
And unlike her paedophile ex partner she is not entitled to legal aid.
“I’m really, really struggling because it’s so ridiculously unfair,” the mother, from Swansea said.
“I am a single mother and I do not qualify for legal aid – my legal fees at the end of last summer were £41,000.
“I have been lucky my family and friends have helped me but it should have gone to my children.”
The two youngsters were awarded compensation of £22,000 each, which is being kept in a trust until they are 18
“My youngest has only just moved back into her own bedroom this year,” she said.“She would have a couple of nights of terror per week.
Both children have undergone counselling.

The devastated mother is from Swansea (Image:

“The children changed after he was arrested, I do not know how far the abuse dated back,” she said.
“My children were always confident, they did not present as victims of abuse.
“The only time I saw issues with their behaviour was after his arrest, after their disclosure of what he had done.
“There were a couple of months after they were arrested that they were both withdrawn, everything was in turmoil.
“They struggled with nightmares, night terrors and anxiety, it opened the floodgates when they disclosed.
“They were incredibly emotional, it was a huge relief.
“The whole thing was unbelievable.
“It’s horrific, it’s not what I thought would be associated with your own children, it’s absolutely heartbreaking.
“I had no clue, it’s scary someone can hide such a big part of themselves.”
She said she felt nothing but “numb” and was unable to cry.
“It was absolutely devastating,” she said.
“The fact that my children had been subject to this inhumane treatment, it was absolutely devastating.

“I was just in shock really.
“When you are in shock like that you are not able to do anything just survive.
“I was trying to get from one day to the next without falling apart – I knew my children needed me.”

Taking the fight to Westminster

The desperate mum says said she would like to see parental rights removed from the father of her children but “there are only three cases since 1998” where that has happened.
“MPs spoke in Parliament in December 2017 about parental responsibility,” she said.
“Those people who abuse their children should not have parental responsibility.
“Sammy Woodhouse (a victim of the Rotherham child sexual abuse scandal) is looking into the rights of a rapist, this should also be looked at.
“There are so many people fighting we have to keep the momentum going – there are so many issues to address.
Tonia Antoniazzi, MP for Gower, who has raised the case with Louise Haigh MP, Shadow Policing Minister, and Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Justice Lucy Frazer, said: “I think it’s absolutely inhumane what is happening to the mother and her children.
“The Family Court has got a lot to answer for – the fact that they are giving this man his family rights when she is already facing a financial loss.
“Why should she be a penny out of pocket.
“For someone whose husband is serving time for being a paedophile – he gets legal aid in prison.
“It’s cruel what he and his parents are doing to her – the amount of stress she’s under and is unable to carry on with her life as normal.
“They are the victims in this and are being poked and prodded all the time.
“It’s wrong the whole system is not protecting her or the children.”
She added: “His parental rights should be taken away from him – he lost those when he committed those crimes on those beautiful children.
“It’s like some sort of cruel game.”
Carolyn Harris, MP for Swansea East who is Shadow Women and Equalities Minister, said: “I wish this was an isolated case and an issue that we could resolve with common sense.
“But too often I’m hearing similar horror stories, that leave me sick to my stomach.
“The Domestic Violence Bill is currently going through Parliament and I (and many others) are determined to get the Family Court system changed.
“Currently it is too prescriptive, archaic and unrealistic in its decisions.
“Children should be our major concern and currently the Family Court are not fit for purpose.”
A Ministry of Justice spokesman said: “We are not able to comment on individual cases.”

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