- About cathyfox blog
- Amended Posts Page
- Announcement and Message Page
- Index of Court Appeals, Newspaper clippings
Update 2020 Mar 24.
Jennifer has now set up her own blog and updated her story, so for the latest posts from Jennifer see her blog on this link – Jennifer’s Blog 
Good luck to Jennifer with her blog.
I came across Jennifer’s story on twitter  @CFieldJen
She had a brief version of her story on her pinned tweet, and it is a powerful piece of writing and so with her permission I reproduce it here.
Gangs are wrongly referred to, in my opinion, as grooming gangs. That tends to give the wrong impression as to extent of violence and harm they inflict. They are nothing less than child rape gangs of which grooming is a part.
They deliberately pick on vulnerable children without much support, like those in children’s homes. They are also child trafficking gangs, and sex trafficking gangs. Authorities will call abuse like this child sexual exploitation (CSE)
These survivors were horrendously let down by social services and the Police, and there must be further investigation into the people that failed, the system that failed and any organisations that were involved.
It never ceases to amaze me how resilient victims and survivors are. After all they have been through they still want to help others.
She has updated her story since I first copied it and added more details. Updated 5th March 2020
WARNING My story contains horrific disturbing facts about sexual acts throughout my life I had no control over.
When I lived with my parents I suffered years of rapes sexual assaults and beatings by some white men, only one of them was jailed. I was also abused by my mum and dad by beatings and emotional degrading abuse.
When I was age 13 I was put in a horrible children’s home and an older Pakistani bloke Adil, his nickname Jacko, in his 30s came in to my life. (My mum and her partner at the time who also was one of my sexual abusers sold my information and picture to him). For over 19 years from age 13 he used me as a sex slave he sold me to hundreds of men who repeatedly raped sexually assaulted and tortured me in different towns and cities in the uk.
Adil was a different type of abuser. There were not any other girls and women. I was the only girl/women, he allowed few hundreds of men from different towns and cities in UK to rape and torture me. Adil believed that because I was only one it be harder to proove and convict.
Most of the time Adil took me to men on his own, sometimes his brothers, dad and some of his friends helped him. Adil put something that smelt funny over my mouth and nose and put me in back of his van I must have passed out as I woke up in different towns and cities to lots of men I had no control over this I should have been safe in the childrens home but they turned a blind eye on what was happening.
Adil told them what to do to me, they did lots of horrible frightening painful things to my body. I was repeatedly raped vaginally and anally by penis and different objects. Lots of times I was raped sexually assaulted and tortured more 20 times in a day, lots of times by gangs of them, lots of times basement/room full of them. I couldn’t always count how many men there was because more often than not there were so many of them. To me as a child they all look the same. Adil started raping me on my 16th birthday but allowed lots of other men to start when I was age 13.
He waited to rape me when I was age 16 because he believed he could not go to jail as I was old enough it was still rape as I did not want to or consent to have sex with him. (Lots of men think when girls/women reaches 16 they can help themselves to sex despite the fact they need consent they just can’t help themselves as this is rape.) I never consented sex with any of them, I was raped, sexually assaulted, beaten up and tortured.
I was not in control, he was. I never went to him, he kept finding me and drugging me on occasions his brothers dad and some of his friends were involved. Here is list of their wicked sexual/fantasy acts I had to endure – I was tied up, had darts chucked at me, pins in my boobs and clit and hung up naked and hit by belt and other things. I was burnt, beaten up, drugged up, alcohol forced down my mouth, cigarette ash down my mouth, my butt and vagina.
They tied me to a tree naked in dark a scary wood after I was gang raped. I was almost drowned, was almost buried alive. I was tied up naked with my legs apart in a basement full of men. I had penis and objects in my both holes at same time, I had a gun pointed in my vagina (I don’t know was real gun or not), I have been cut and stabbed with pen knife had cigarettes stubbed out on me etc.
It carried on even when on my menstrual cycle, as I was butt raped only till my periods finished and they also continued to tortured my body as described as above. They did lots of horrible frightening painful things to my body, mostly my boobs, nipples, vagina, clit and butt, they sexually tortured me. Through the torture my knees were kicked so many times they are now damaged to the extent my mobility is difficult and I have to take things slowly and regular breaks.
Adil was very aggressive strict and controlling dangerous man. The torture, rape, punishment would be more severe, if I wore the wrong type or colour of clothes that he did not like. It was like he wanted to punish me. Adil found any fault to punish/torture me. I never knew what I did wrong to be tortured, punished and abused.
To shame me further, Adil filmed me being raped and tortured. Their faces were covered to protect their identity, forget about mine. He also made me have topless and fully naked pictures taken. Many professionals called me prostitute and slut and that I asked for it. They were very ignorant and I am sure they would have known the difference between sex rape/prostitution. They were not very supportive but nasty to me and I believe they were just as bad as my abusers.
Since leaving the children’s home I have had many social workers and support workers. The majority have let me down by not turning up, or not been understanding to my past and the lasting effects it has had on me. They have failed to understand and support my mental and physical needs often leaving me in pain and suffering.
I get anxious about being alone and vulnerable. Past care staff failed to turn up at any arranged times and meeting places putting me in danger from predators still looking for me. This heightened my panic attacks etc. Having been let down so many times and being verbally and emotionally abused by staff and professionals I find it difficult to trust and build up positive relationships with anybody.
Due to my mild learning disability I am unsure if my abusers thought it was alright for them to abuse, torture and rape me without getting caught. I had and still have a lovely caring friend who tried to get me justice for all the horrible things I endured but sadly only one was jailed as he confessed to his crime. (He has since passed away)
Due to my horrible past experiences I now suffer from depression anxiety, PTSD, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks etc. Also I can often smell things and hear voices from the past which still scares me. In the past I self harmed myself by cutting and I hope I don’t do it again. I do not know what will happen in the future as anything could happen to trigger the feelings again. Last time it happened to me was in 2017.
I am now safe getting all the help and support I need
thanks for reading, from Jennifer
It is vital that as many people that feel able to, get their stories out into the public. One page such as Jennifer’s story, gives such a window into the abuse and the extent of the abuse, that makes it harder for all the other abuse to be covered up.
No one needs to go to authorities and trust them and wait years to tell your story. Get it out on social media twitter, facebook, blog, video whatever. It all helps.
We do need more bloggers and with the amount of brave people telling their stories now, if any of these survivors can set up a blog to help blog survivor stories in writing, podcasts or videos that would be a very useful thing to do, otherwise they can get lost down facebook feeds or twitter feeds. I will willingly help and advise anyone to set up a blog.
Thankyou to Jennifer, another brave survivor.
 2020 mar 23 Jennifer’s Blog https://cfieldjen.blogspot.com/?m=1
I only post on Twitter at present, if you have found this post useful, please post on social media – facebook, instagram, pinterest, gab – whichever ones you are on. This is most helpful to spread the information. Thankyou.
- The Sanctuary for the Abused [A] has advice on how to prevent triggers.
- National Association for People Abused in Childhood [B] has a freephone helpline and has links to local support groups.
- One in Four [C]
- Havoca [D].
- Useful post on Triggers [E] from SurvivorsJustice [F] blog.
- Jim Hoppers pages on Mindfulness [G] and Meditation [H] may be useful.
- Hwaairfan blog An Indigenous Australian Approach to Healing Trauma [J]
- Survivors UK for victims and survivors of male rape or the sexual abuse of men [K]
- Voicing CSA group [L] helps arrange survivors meetings in your area
- A Prescription for me blog Various emotional support links [M]
- Fresh Start Foundation Scottish not for profit group, helping child sexual abuse victims & survivors [N]
[A] Sanctuary for the Abused http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.co.uk/2006/07/for-survivors-coping-with-triggers-if.html
[E] SurvivorsJustice Triggers post http://survivorsjustice.com/2014/02/26/triggers-what-are-they-and-how-do-we-work-through-them/
[J] 2016 Jan 5 Hwaairfan blog An Indigenous Australian Approach to Healing Trauma https://hwaairfan.wordpress.com/2016/01/05/an-indigenous-australian-approach-to-healing-trauma/
[L] Voicing CSA website – http://voicingcsa.uk/ helps arrange survivors meetings in your area. Voicing CSA supports the IICSA and VSCP and works to help adult survivors of child sexual abuse find their voice
[M] A Prescription for me blog Various emotional support links https://aprescriptionforme.wordpress.com/help/#emotionalsupport
[N] Fresh Start Foundation Scottish not for profit group, helping child sexual abuse victims & survivors to achieve Truth & Justice and to support their recovery. http://www.freshstartfoundation.co.uk/ Twitter @SurvivorsSoS Facebook https://www.facebook.com/survivorssupportline/
This is all written in good faith but if there is anything that needs to be corrected or you wish to write to me please email email@example.com quoting the article title
the truth will out, the truth will shout, the truth will set us free
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” – Edmund Burke
“He who does not bellow the truth when he knows the truth makes himself the accomplice of liars and forgers.” Charles Peguy
To sin by silence when we should protest makes cowards out of men – Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Every time we act in the face of fear, we dilute it’s power and increase our confidence – via Gary Havener
Only the small secrets need to be protected, the large ones are kept secret by public incredulity – Marshall McLuhan
Let justice be done though the heavens fall – Fiat justitia ruat cælum